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» On Stand-by

      Direct Answers - Column week April 28 2003.
Direct Answers Wayne Tamara

Stand-by

My wife 35 years fallen love again her old college boyfriend I 61 she 58 We three grown children Her boyfriend 59 married two grown children.

had communicated since college A year ago met a class reunion Since then constantly talked phone I know communication because my wife told me last December my wife became secretive.

One night I heard her saying I love him When I confronted my wife she admitted she loved him she still loves me too She said she's going leave me break up family She begged me leave stop loving her.

a compromise we agreed he can call her once awhile he important news classmates She call him I reiterated her a violation trust a month later I overheard talking Again she begged me give up her.

I talked my wife's boyfriend he assured me he's trying break up our family He can wait until she free meaning I happens then can pursue dreams together then it's meant

I love my wife trust her anything her long distance love affair He lives halfway across country haven't had physical involvement yet despite absence I deeply hurt Shall I leave her give up her wait see?

Harry

Harry wife shattered world relationship her Even she stays wonder her reasons.

She didn't wake up day reunion a different person She already a point where there room occur When wife talks her boyfriend there She her unrestrained feelings there.

Relationships can a habit putting place time come home does reflect deep emotion It's just a habit Habits can mask feelings lack feeling longing something else why may feel saw coming because she maintaining most her habits wife.

Love a race We want finish first cannot forced second place feel good yourself longer passive worse feel because letting two other people decide life

decide how much contact any can accept decide certain boundaries crossed decide yourself acceptable a boundary already crossed there return.

Tamara

Simple Answers
I seeing fellow past year He says he a love me feels comfortable me.

He mentioned when he around me he thinks someone dear his heart I asked He said My mother I asked why can't sex me because see mother He said Yes Where does leave me?

Zora

Zora a century ago William James talked psychologist's fallacy he meant people inclined view everything sort psychological problem solved.

Things often a lot simpler He loves he loves his mother want someone loves desires a wife Where does leave need a cold shower.

Wayne



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